Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
