Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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