I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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