All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
