these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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