So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
