Kiss
Puke
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
