cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
