I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
