allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
