I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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