and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize