you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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