I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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