porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
