Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
