Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
