I want to have your abortion
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
