are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
