My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
