Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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