I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
