I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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