I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
worst night to have a conscience
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
