I forgot how hot balto sounded
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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