yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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