margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My penis needs a shock collar
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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