Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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