First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
