I'm going to jail i love you
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
