I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
