I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
