She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
