she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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