I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
