let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
