a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh god it's open bar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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