did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
