he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize