in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
