I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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