i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
