I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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