Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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