Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
