Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
