Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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