I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize