It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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