I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
