dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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