make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
