you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So vagazzling was a success
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize