i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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