So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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