I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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