Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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