Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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