whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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