Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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