Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
