are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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