careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
