Cold hands, warm shart.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
