PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
