My liver just broke up with me...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
