I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
