i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize