I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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