i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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