im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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