Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
