Plan B is the new Plan A
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
