I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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