I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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