direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im holly from the hills drunk
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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