how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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