Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
