They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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